“Sister Act”

Alan Menken (Music); Glenn Slater (Lyrics); Cheri & Bill Steinkellner (Book)

Brothers and Sisters, may I have an “Amen.”  Glory hallelujah, a miracle hath been wrought in San Francisco that is heavenly in a wonderfully sinful kind of way.  Theatre Rhinoceros has received permission from the Almighty of Broadway to break all gender-based, casting commandments in order to open its sanctuary’s doors to a Sister Act that would surely even send Whoopi Goldberg dancing down the aisles in jubilation.  Gender flows freely across all boundaries from nuns to gangsters; but the crowning grace in this heart-thumping, toe-tapping, clap-your-hands production is the casting of Branden Noel Thomas as Sister Mary Clarence (aka Deloris van Cartier, “of the Cartier Family”).  With glitter-adorned eyelashes that reach almost into the first row of the audience, curls that tumble to her shoulders like Niagara Falls, and glorious vocal pipes that any church organ would envy to possess, this Sista is almost assured of packing ‘em in at the Gateway Theatre for nightly congregations full of revival-meeting fervor.   Doing their part to help, Alan Menken has filled the musical with tunes of the 1970s sound (Motown, disco, Donna Summers); Glenn Slater has provided lyrics righteously irreverent; and Cheri and Bill Steinkellner have ensured a predictable but overall fun book that will leave everyone glowing in radiant smiles.

Second-rate-but-ambitious lounge singer, Deloris van Cartier, opens the wrong door at the wrong time as she seeks to thank her gangster boyfriend, Curtis Shank, for her holiday fur of bright purple, only to witness he and his roughnecks finishing off a stool pigeon with a bullet to the head.  An old admirer from high school and now a beat cop, Lt. “Sweaty Eddie” Souther, conceives a plan to hide Deloris (still his secret heartthrob) in an aging, dilapidated convent while awaiting her witness account that can finally convict the low-life Curtis. 

To the horror of mini-skirted Deloris in her knee-high black boots and satin-gold wrap, she is now to be a nun under the supervision of Mother Superior, who is equally horrified to have this heathen among her innocent flock of both young and aging nuns.  (After all, how is Mother to deal with a street-talker who acts like a street-walker and who ends her prayer, “In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Smoke”?)  But the convent’s nuns themselves turn out to be much more friendly and welcoming of their new sister than Deloris (now Sister Mary Clarence) ever expected — especially when they discover she can sing and has the God-given ability miraculously to transform their sad and discordant choir into a rocking, fabulous group of angelic voices suitable for the Pope himself.

And all the time, Curtis and his bumbling thugs search high and low the streets of San Francisco (a new setting for this gender-bending version of the story) to make sure Deloris never makes it to that courtroom to testify.

From the moment Branden Noel Thomas emits notes sung in deeply rich, erotically delicious luster from red-lips that are smiling with life’s zest, we must fully agree with the reluctant praise that even bad dude Curtis gives Deloris:  “You look good; you move good; you sing good.”  As hips swivel and arms shoot up skyward only to slowly and sexily descend, his Deloris convinces us in her opening “Take Me to Heaven” that here is an angel – even if one with more than a few devilish tendencies. 

Once Deloris dons the black, heavy frocks of a nun, Sister Mary Clarence’s voice takes on even more divine qualities as she ranges from hallowed softness to trumpeted volumes in her vocal outpourings.  With great comedic abilities, the newly christened Sister can also elicit heartfelt inspiration, especially as she teaches the nuns to “Raise Your Voice” in a number that raises the theatre’s roof.  When a sleepy Sister MC is at one point begged for a blessing by a circling bevy of nuns nervous like teens before their papal performance, Mary Clarence’s prayer of long-sustained, crystal clear notes in “Bless Our Show” seems surely destined to be received well by any God listening far above.

But it is in the moments when she is in fact joined by the gender-everything nun ensemble that both Sister Mary Clarence and the other sisters truly turn into something both celestial and Las Vegas.  Each number only seems to get better as they blend in harmonies that literally shake the timbers and send the audience time and again into mighty applause.  Not only can the nuns sing individually with much gumption and gusto, they collectively execute the fun, funny, and often fantastic arm-waving choreography of AeJay Mitchell with zeal and precision and often with tongues-fully-in-cheek and winks galore.  There is hilarity and heart in “It’s Good to Be a Nun;” Saturday-Night-Fever-like disco boogying and kick-line high stepping in their “Sunday Morning Fever;” and true heavenly joy of raised arms and aisle-hopping in “Spread the Love Around.” 

Not only do the nuns perform with ebullience in kick lines, hoedowns, and dance floor jives, they often sparkle individually – personality-wise and vocally.  Anna Smith as the always friendly and perky Sister Mary Patrick (a role expanded and made forever famous in film by Katy Najimy) sings with the clear love and fascination for each living moment with a smile sincerely plastered in permanent position.  Dee Wagner as Sister Mary Lazarus (among other roles) has a cynic side to her comments and disapproving looks that could kill; but when she loosens her collar and begins to rap in rapid rapture in “Sunday Morning Fever,” she breaks open her sullen shell for good.

But the Nun of the Year award must go to the one still only a young novitiate, Mary Robert (Abigail Campbell).  The initially shy, wide-eyed girl who hardly can speak beyond a whisper suddenly lets loose in “Raise Your Voice” to hit clarion notes that surprise and delight everyone.  The petite nun-to-be continues in subsequent numbers (like “Sunday Morning Fever”) to excite and grab audience appreciation with big-bodied vocals that deliver angelic effects.  The crowning halo for her evening is when she gazes ahead looking for new worlds of opportunities as she sings “The Life I Never Led.”  With youthful exuberance where each run of notes glistens with possibilities, she imagines a new, resurrected self, made possible through the help of her new best friend, Sister Mary Clarence.  A resounding brava is well-deserved for this inspiring, delightful Mary Robert.

Bringing the kind of experience-weathered, wearily cynical, but still religiously-inspired voice and persona to the role of Mother Superior is yet one more of this production’s inspired casting decisions, Kim K. Larsen in righteous, big-cross-wearing drag.  His Mother Superior’s notes reverberate with a convincing self-righteous but also devoted holiness in “Within These Walls” as the Mother clearly sets herself apart as more conservative and skeptical of Mary Clarence than the more daring set of nuns she administers.  The hilarious brilliance of Glenn Slater’s lyrics come to full bear as Mr. Larsen’s Mother Superior laments to the Lord Above about how she has got “disco piped into the cloisters,” “glitter wherever you gaze,” and “celebrant nuns sharking their buns shrieking you and your son’s holy praise” in yet one more highlight of the evening, “I Haven’t Got a Prayer.”

The ‘men’ in this cast – both those played by cis men and those played by drag kings – on the surface do not have a prayer compared to their fellow actors in black gowns.  However, they give it a helluva good try and overall marvelously succeed.  Crystal Liu is a steely-eyed, almost expressionless Curtis who sings moving only her mouth as Curtis viperously plots, “When I Find My Baby,” rising to a startling crescendo, “When I find that girl, I ain’t lettin’ go.”  Curtis’s sidekicks back him up in song and with some predator-and-victim, choreographed antics, but the three step into their own spotlight in a bad-boy trio of laughs as they sing how they will romantically seduce the nuns to give up Deloris in “Lady in the Long Black Dress.”  Joyce Domanico-Huh is Joey (as well as a rockin’ Monsignor who absolutely digs the singing nun act); John Charles Quimpo is T.J.; Abraham Bladonado is a celestially falsetto-singing Pablo. 

Making his own mark in the cast is Jarrett Holley as Lt. “Sweaty Eddie” who takes his turn as a nightclub-like lounge singer in “I Could Be That Guy,” grooving on the street corner in a mellow, silky smooth voice while a chorus of gathered homeless and drunks back him up. 

Two quick changes of costumes by Eddie that transform him from street cop to Reno lounge and back to Sweaty Eddie on the midnight beat (enabled by his twirling chorus of street-dwellers) is only one of the many miracles that David F. Draper performs with costumes that often smack of their own humor.  Tammy L. Hall’s stellar music direction is evident from the first to the last notes, with her keyboards, the percussion of Daria Shani Johnson, and the bass/guitar of Kevin Goldberg doing great justice to Alan Menkin’s score.  AeJay Mitchell directs this talented, eclectic cast with a flair that smacks gaily inspired and reverently whimsical.  The final chase scene is a full-theatre affair that was executed both flawlessly and hilariously on opening night.

Sister Act is not one of the great musicals of all times, but it is surely one guaranteed to energize almost any audience – particularly those longing for some of the beats and moves of the 1970s and those wanting to laugh out loud a lot.  Theatre Rhinoceros does what no Sister Act has done before with the company’s baptizing the show with a new life through gender-bending casting, especially with the crowning choice of Branden Noel Thomas as Sister Mary Clarence.  May each night be blessed and packed during the too-short run, and may we all be once again thankful for the longest running LGBT theatre in the nation, Theatre Rhinoceros.

Rating: 5 E

Sister Actcontinues through June 1, 2019 in production by Theatre Rhinoceros at the Gateway Theatre, 215 Jackson Street, San Francisco. 

Tickets are available at www.therhino.org.

Photos by David Wilson