Champagne White and the Temple of Poon
D’Arcy Drollinger
Welcome to the Sha Boom Boom Room where the fabulously blonde Champagne Horowitz Jones Dickerson White (she’s been married a lot … and they’re all dead) is about to grind her big, sexy body to audience howls and delight. Only tonight, our action heroine from Oasis’s previous hit show S—t and Champagne has lost her sensual slithers and is instead flopping, flipping, and finally falling in a not-too-flattering spread. It turns out this is just the beginning of a few, very bad, horrible, terrible days for Champagne who is about to be set up for murdering yet another doomed husband (a curly-headed Don dressed in very ugly 60s wear). Chased by crooks and the law alike, Champagne is sentenced to Lady Prison, a for-profit cover-up for nefarious activity by her evil rival, Dixie Stampede, who has emerged (after supposed fiery destruction in the last show) from the sewers as high-kicking, evil-laughing, but totally gorgeous Pixie Pardonne Moi. Pixie is out once again to take over the world, this time through a drug based on the intoxicating scent of women (bottled as the perfume “Pussé”). What ensues is a commedia dell’arte, farcical, and naughty romp as the forces of good and evil fight it out, leaving everyone in the audience exhausted in laughter at the tongue-in-cheek suspense.
Writer, director, and star D’Arcy Drollinger is once again superb as the fighting, kicking, and always-fussing-with-her-golden-locks Champagne. Our heroine uses ploys and moves not yet invented to clear her good name, all the time making sure she is as sexy as ever in every pose possible. Her short, sweet, swishy pal Sergio (the incredibly funny James Arthur who doubles along the way as the bad guy Mr. Tickler) shows loyally up again to do all he can to help his idol in this second episode of what is hopefully now an ongoing serial of Champagne White exploits. Adam Roy is perfect as the handsome dick (that is, as in detective) Jack Hammer in Colombo-type trench coat, tortuously torn by the horny heat he feels whenever around Champagne and the obligation he has to arrest her for the murder he is sure she has committed. In alleys and backrooms, Champagne traverses to find justice, meeting along the way the meek and milk-toast Mandy (the stellar Steven LeMay) who turns out to be her “second foster cousin once removed by marriage” and her newest love (especially when the two are surprise cellmates at the Lady Prison). (Both Adam and Steven play multiple other parts with pizzazz, changing costumes, accents, and persona at Superman speed.) Everyone is dressed multiple times in creatively crass costumes by Tria.
As the reincarnated Pixie Pardonne Moi, Matthew Martin is better than ever as the vain villainess who, like Champagne, also has her own repertoire of kicks, smacks, chops, and slices that would rival any Saturday morning action cartoon of the ‘80s and ‘90s (all made the better by impeccably timed sound effects). When Pixie and Champagne are both on stage, the sparks fly in all directions as the two stars magnificently play off each other’s moves in realistic, yet ridiculous, fights well choreographed by John Ficarra. They even break into dance moves mid-struggle that defy how many ways can legs and arms move in coordinated flurry.
And between all the action-packed shenanigans, Nancy French announces in droll, dreary, delicious style each scene as she strolls out in patriotic-striped bikini wear — smacking her gum, rolling her eyes in boredom, and threatening to come down and lap-dance on some unsuspecting, audience man … or woman. Reviving her role as sign-carrier from the earlier S—t and Champagne, Nancy is a crowd favorite and seems very close to becoming her own franchise of dolls, fashion, and videos.
Speaking of videos, the evening is peppered with fabulous films that run the gamut from ads for Pixie’s poisonous perfume to San Francisco chase scenes. The latter rival anything in the movie Bullitt, especially when Champagne is on skateboard pursued by crooks in chase car and Hammer huffing and puffing on foot. Our hats (and maybe more) come off to Richard Neveu for producing what turn out to be some of the best moments of the show.
Once again, D’Arcy along with Nancy, Steven, James, Adam, and especially Matthew has created what seems destined to become an only-in-San Francisco must-see. Move over Beach Blanket Babylon and Thrillpeddlers. There is a new kid in town. Her name is Champagne Horowitz Jones Dickerson White, and she is surely here to stay.
Rating: 4 E’s
Champagne White and the Temple of Pooncontinues Thursdays – Saturdays, 7 p.m. at Oasis, 298 11th Street, San Francisco. through September 12, 2015. Tickets are available at http://sfoasis.com/event.cfm?cart&id=148585or by calling the box office at 415-795-3180.
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